We are here at our new home. It has been two weeks and so far so good. This is definitely an older house but it is pretty and once we are done getting unpacked and settled it is going to feel like a home. A warm home with wood and colors and more like what I grew up in. The neighborhood seems friendly and I have hopes we will actually make friends here.
I registered Aiden for kindergarten last week. My little boy is going to kindergarten. I can't believe it but I know he'll do great. He is so smart and hopefully being in school will help him make some real friends. I know he misses preschool because he hasn't really had anyone but his parents to play with. We go to the park and places but there are usually younger kids. I'm going back and forth about signing up for another moms type organization but those seem geared for younger children too. We are joining a synagogue so maybe that will help out for him also.
My best friend is visiting in a couple weeks and I am so excited. I'm even more touched that she is willing to drive up here with her four kids. I know traveling isn't always easy with children but I cannot wait till they get here. Its also great motivation to get the house in order and not dump things in any of the rooms because we are going to need them all.
The weather here is so different then Florida. Duh, Lisa? What did you expect? Apparantly it's been very chilly compared to what it normally is. Right now there is a thunderstorm going outside and it's in the 70s.
As my online friend Carmen always talks about, I had a little moment of bliss yesterday. My dog and I were sitting on the back porch swing and my son was playing in the back yard. It was just one of those perfect moments. The breeze was blowing and even the birds were chirping. There has been so much going on recently that I am really trying to stop and think about when these moments happen. They really help you deal with the hard stuff.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
A perfect memory
Yesterday was the fourth of July and we had no plans. Just worked on getting the house ready for moving day. I had bought some wimpy fireworks from the store and we were going to set them off. Aiden of course was thrilled and couldn't wait. He was also thrilled with his USA shirt and his decorated cupcakes. I love his age. He's so easy to please.
Well when it finally was dark enough the people across the lake from us set off these huge beautiful fireworks for probably an hour. After standing outside for fifteen minutes and getting eaten by mosquitoes we decided to watch them from inside.
We put a bunch of pillows up by the big back door and laid on the floor watching them. As Aiden laid there all fascinated, I couldn't help but think this is one of those perfect memories that I hope I always have. Don't you just love when those happen when you weren't planning for them at all?
Well when it finally was dark enough the people across the lake from us set off these huge beautiful fireworks for probably an hour. After standing outside for fifteen minutes and getting eaten by mosquitoes we decided to watch them from inside.
We put a bunch of pillows up by the big back door and laid on the floor watching them. As Aiden laid there all fascinated, I couldn't help but think this is one of those perfect memories that I hope I always have. Don't you just love when those happen when you weren't planning for them at all?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Almost moving time
Next week at this time I will be running around frantically preparing the house for the movers to come. We luckily were able to get a good deal on them packing too. So that leaves me with the very un fun job of organizing, throwing away, and donating everything that I can. I do not want to move into our next home with more junk then we know what to do with it. I'm done with the messy stage in my life. The amount of time that I take trying to find things, putting off things cuz I know the frustration it's going to bring because of the mess, and just basically having a house that I'm embarassed about is exhausting. It's over.
That isn't what I really wanted to type about, although I have a feeling it will be the topic of many more blogs to come. Recently, I have been finding myself very irritable when it comes to pregnant people. Usually I can handle it. But today if I see one more person on facebook complaining about how they hate being pregnant, I am going to scream. I just can't seem to avoid the topic. My neighbor is pregnant and my son was nice enough to put out there used to be a baby in mommy's tummy too. That conversation is old. It hurts and always comes out of nowhere and I am tired of having to go back over the facts with my son even though I know he needs that from me.
When I was going through some stuff in my son's playroom I realized that I was pregnant when I moved into this house. When I organized and put things away in the closets it was with the intent that another baby would be living here with us. Aiden's old bedding is in his closet waiting to be used. Baby toys are boxed in his room because we were going to need them. The bassinet that I love so much is upstairs just waiting for a little one to sleep in it. I have boxes and boxes of baby clothes and other items in the garage.
And then there is the box. David's box with the few memories I have of him. They are with my crystal and dishes in a place where they were safe from others looking at them or them getting misplaced. I need to move them somewhere where the packers won't pack them. I've looked at them once since we lost him and am just not sure emotionally I can pull them out again but I know I have to.
I'm seriously considering giving everything away. It hurts so much putting things aside for a baby that I don't know if we're ever going to have. This will be the second move where I'm dragging it all around and I'm just not sure I should anymore.
That isn't what I really wanted to type about, although I have a feeling it will be the topic of many more blogs to come. Recently, I have been finding myself very irritable when it comes to pregnant people. Usually I can handle it. But today if I see one more person on facebook complaining about how they hate being pregnant, I am going to scream. I just can't seem to avoid the topic. My neighbor is pregnant and my son was nice enough to put out there used to be a baby in mommy's tummy too. That conversation is old. It hurts and always comes out of nowhere and I am tired of having to go back over the facts with my son even though I know he needs that from me.
When I was going through some stuff in my son's playroom I realized that I was pregnant when I moved into this house. When I organized and put things away in the closets it was with the intent that another baby would be living here with us. Aiden's old bedding is in his closet waiting to be used. Baby toys are boxed in his room because we were going to need them. The bassinet that I love so much is upstairs just waiting for a little one to sleep in it. I have boxes and boxes of baby clothes and other items in the garage.
And then there is the box. David's box with the few memories I have of him. They are with my crystal and dishes in a place where they were safe from others looking at them or them getting misplaced. I need to move them somewhere where the packers won't pack them. I've looked at them once since we lost him and am just not sure emotionally I can pull them out again but I know I have to.
I'm seriously considering giving everything away. It hurts so much putting things aside for a baby that I don't know if we're ever going to have. This will be the second move where I'm dragging it all around and I'm just not sure I should anymore.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Another week gone by
I don't like to announce it online for obvious reasons but the hubby has been out of town for the last week. While I miss him, it gives me a lot more time to focus on myself and what I need to do. This week I found out the power of not only making a list but sticking to it and getting it all done. I am admittedly lazy by nature. So if I can keep this up at least it will help. I'm so completely overwhelmed by all that needs to be done that I sometimes feel frozen.
The next few weeks are going to involve a lot of goodbyes. This weekend is Aiden's last T-ball game. His first experience on a sports team has been absolutely wonderful. I was a little worried in the beginning since he is ultra competitive sometimes but he has done great. The attitude of the coaches has been wonderful and as usual, if another adult says what mommy says then it must be true.
School is ending soon. I'm so proud of how well he has done this year. Although it started off rough he has grown so much. The little boy that used to cry every time he didn't get his way or was frustrated has learned some self control. He has learned to read. Most importantly, he has learned that it is fun to learn and try new things. I hope this wonderful attitude that he has developed in preschool will last him the rest of his life.
Even amongst all the chaos it is funny how things happen that are signs that show you that you are in the right place. This morning it was my dad's song on the radio. It always comes on when I'm feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. Like a message from him to take a step back and look around. Or the other night when Aiden's game was cancelled due to storms. On the way home we saw the most beautiful rainbow. We would have totally missed it had we not driven down the ball park. Even better then that was hearing Aiden's excitement when he spotted it. When they are little and discovering things you get to hear that emotion so often but as he slowly gets older it is harder to come by. I wish I could bottle up that joy.
Well... enough babbling.
The next few weeks are going to involve a lot of goodbyes. This weekend is Aiden's last T-ball game. His first experience on a sports team has been absolutely wonderful. I was a little worried in the beginning since he is ultra competitive sometimes but he has done great. The attitude of the coaches has been wonderful and as usual, if another adult says what mommy says then it must be true.
School is ending soon. I'm so proud of how well he has done this year. Although it started off rough he has grown so much. The little boy that used to cry every time he didn't get his way or was frustrated has learned some self control. He has learned to read. Most importantly, he has learned that it is fun to learn and try new things. I hope this wonderful attitude that he has developed in preschool will last him the rest of his life.
Even amongst all the chaos it is funny how things happen that are signs that show you that you are in the right place. This morning it was my dad's song on the radio. It always comes on when I'm feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. Like a message from him to take a step back and look around. Or the other night when Aiden's game was cancelled due to storms. On the way home we saw the most beautiful rainbow. We would have totally missed it had we not driven down the ball park. Even better then that was hearing Aiden's excitement when he spotted it. When they are little and discovering things you get to hear that emotion so often but as he slowly gets older it is harder to come by. I wish I could bottle up that joy.
Well... enough babbling.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
A good day/Mommy Brag
Today is going to be a good day. Aiden woke up in a good mood and I slept through the night. What a great feeling it is when you feel like you had enough sleep. It doesn't happen to me very often. Later we are going to tour a donut place with our Moms group and Aiden will get to decorate and of course eat a donut. In his words, "Today is my favorite day in May!".
I told Aiden's school last week that we were moving. I adore his school and hated doing that. I did have a quick conversation with his teacher who said she thought he'd be absolutely fine in kindergarten which was nice to hear. She also told me how smart he was. I swear ya can't hear compliments about your children enough. Even though it has nothing to do with anything i've done it just makes me so proud of him. He is indeed smart. From looking over what different grades require he is at least half way through kindergarten math. Although truly I think he's already done it all. He's reading a ton but still needs to work on looking at all the letters in the word and not guessing just by the first one. (Mommy bragging is okay when you're doing it in your own blog, right?) I am so greatful to his school for the wonderful start that he has gotten there. I hope we can find the perfect place for him next year.
Besides the school thing, last week has been stressful. I despise not having a plan and not even knowing when or where I'm going to be moving to is really taking it's toll. I have so much to do but get so overwhelmed I end up not doing anything. As of today that is going to change. I HAVE to get my house clean. That is my goal tomorrow while Aiden is at school. After that I can start packing up stuff that we won't use. If anyone knows a good way to pack a huge lego castle without it falling apart, Ash and I would appreciate the suggestion. When I asked her if it would be fun to put it back together again.... well let's just say I'd like to try to keep it together.
Off to continue having a great day!
I told Aiden's school last week that we were moving. I adore his school and hated doing that. I did have a quick conversation with his teacher who said she thought he'd be absolutely fine in kindergarten which was nice to hear. She also told me how smart he was. I swear ya can't hear compliments about your children enough. Even though it has nothing to do with anything i've done it just makes me so proud of him. He is indeed smart. From looking over what different grades require he is at least half way through kindergarten math. Although truly I think he's already done it all. He's reading a ton but still needs to work on looking at all the letters in the word and not guessing just by the first one. (Mommy bragging is okay when you're doing it in your own blog, right?) I am so greatful to his school for the wonderful start that he has gotten there. I hope we can find the perfect place for him next year.
Besides the school thing, last week has been stressful. I despise not having a plan and not even knowing when or where I'm going to be moving to is really taking it's toll. I have so much to do but get so overwhelmed I end up not doing anything. As of today that is going to change. I HAVE to get my house clean. That is my goal tomorrow while Aiden is at school. After that I can start packing up stuff that we won't use. If anyone knows a good way to pack a huge lego castle without it falling apart, Ash and I would appreciate the suggestion. When I asked her if it would be fun to put it back together again.... well let's just say I'd like to try to keep it together.
Off to continue having a great day!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Another Sunday Night
What a nice uneventful weekend! It started by my husband showing up and surprising Aiden at T-Ball practice on Friday night. After missing his daddy for the last week, it was adorable to see his face when he saw him. It was definitely an "awwwww" moment.
Saturday was game day followed by lunch at the "peanut place" as Aiden calls it. Aiden did great in his game. He was able to hit the ball and he even caught it and threw it a couple of times. This was much improved from the week before where he just stood there staring at everything going on.
Sunday we had a big family trip to Sam's club. I know... that doesn't sound too exciting. But it was proceeded by cleaning out the fridge and freezer and now I feel organized about meals for the family. One day I will get this staying at home mom/domestic goddess thing right. Okay, well it might be a while.
Saturday was game day followed by lunch at the "peanut place" as Aiden calls it. Aiden did great in his game. He was able to hit the ball and he even caught it and threw it a couple of times. This was much improved from the week before where he just stood there staring at everything going on.
Sunday we had a big family trip to Sam's club. I know... that doesn't sound too exciting. But it was proceeded by cleaning out the fridge and freezer and now I feel organized about meals for the family. One day I will get this staying at home mom/domestic goddess thing right. Okay, well it might be a while.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
My day
Today I went to the place that all parents fear. The place that when the news is reporting of a possible pandemic most would avoid. Not me though. I am BRAVE. Where was it that I went? Chuck E. Cheese okay? Complete with a hug from the mouse and everything. It truly is one of Aiden's favorite places to go. He had a blast. I thought about breaking the news about the move to him while there. After all, it was there that my husband took the phone call letting him know he had lost his job. Seemed like a cool circle of events. But really, I don't think he is going to take the news well and I'm being a big chicken about telling him. It has to happen this week because I will be letting his school know that he will not be attending. I'd hate for the news to be given to him from someone else. So tomorrow or Thursday will be the day.
If I am completely honest with myself I will have to admit that the idea of starting over somewhere is very appealing. When we moved down here it was exciting since I had never lived anywhere but my home town. Then a few weeks after the move my son was having surgery and I had one of two miscarriages. This was followed by Aiden breaking his arm and then losing David. Not to mention that Aiden also was diagnosed with asthma and is officially allergic to everything in the air here. I'm thinking us and Florida are a bad combo and hopefully somewhere with less sunshine will be better?
Here is what I have been up to today. I really like the Hanukkah one but can't get the Christmas one right. I think I'm trying to put too many pictures on one page but am getting sick of working on it. I will come back to it before I put the final book together though.
If I am completely honest with myself I will have to admit that the idea of starting over somewhere is very appealing. When we moved down here it was exciting since I had never lived anywhere but my home town. Then a few weeks after the move my son was having surgery and I had one of two miscarriages. This was followed by Aiden breaking his arm and then losing David. Not to mention that Aiden also was diagnosed with asthma and is officially allergic to everything in the air here. I'm thinking us and Florida are a bad combo and hopefully somewhere with less sunshine will be better?
Here is what I have been up to today. I really like the Hanukkah one but can't get the Christmas one right. I think I'm trying to put too many pictures on one page but am getting sick of working on it. I will come back to it before I put the final book together though.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Wow
It sure has been a long time since I've posted anything on here. I'd say a lot has happened. First of all, I finally had my appointment with the high risk OB/GYN in March. He basically said the same thing as everyone else. It is just one of those things and he doesn't know why we are having such bad luck. On the drive home, my husband called to let me know he was being laid off of his job. So obviously the baby thing is on hold. Is it strange to feel relief about such a thing? At least for right now I KNOW that not trying to have a baby is the right thing to do. So I don't even need to worry or think about it. I still want another child more then anything but I also know in my heart you have to take care of the family you do have before adding to it. So that is where I am at with no doubt it my mind. My only fear is that if we have to wait too long it will never happen.
My husband has accepted a job in another state. So off we go. Nothing like leaving paradise and perfect weather, beaches, and fun things to do to somewhere with snow and rain and all the things that cause seasonal affective disorder! But.. as we all know in this economy a job is a job and he's happy about this one. So if it means moving when others are having such a hard time even finding enough to survive on then how can I be anything but greatful?
My stepdaughter was just here for two weeks and my in-laws were here the second week. They left yesterday and now it is too quiet. Aiden is at school and my husband is gone. We had such a wonderful visit with them all. The good part about hubbie knowing he had a job is that I think he could enjoy them all being here with a little less stress. And he didn't have to work cuz he hadn't started yet. Who knows when he will have free time like that again.
I'm so relieved that my in-laws had a nice visit. It seems like everytime they come something bad happens and they are dealing with us in emergency mode. Last time they came down I found out about losing David and was in the hospital. When we went up to see them last everyone ended up getting sick. I'm just so glad that this time was better.
Clearly I have a lot of stuff to be doing but I'm going to try to be better about blogging. It's such a good feeling to get my thoughts out even if nobody else is reading it. (In some cases, maybe nobody should!) I'm also planning to start digital scrapbooking again. I made a great book at the end of last year and would like to do a better one for this year. The best way to do it, of course, is to keep up with it instead of doing it all at once. So for the two people reading, stay tuned because I will probably share what I do on here.
My husband has accepted a job in another state. So off we go. Nothing like leaving paradise and perfect weather, beaches, and fun things to do to somewhere with snow and rain and all the things that cause seasonal affective disorder! But.. as we all know in this economy a job is a job and he's happy about this one. So if it means moving when others are having such a hard time even finding enough to survive on then how can I be anything but greatful?
My stepdaughter was just here for two weeks and my in-laws were here the second week. They left yesterday and now it is too quiet. Aiden is at school and my husband is gone. We had such a wonderful visit with them all. The good part about hubbie knowing he had a job is that I think he could enjoy them all being here with a little less stress. And he didn't have to work cuz he hadn't started yet. Who knows when he will have free time like that again.
I'm so relieved that my in-laws had a nice visit. It seems like everytime they come something bad happens and they are dealing with us in emergency mode. Last time they came down I found out about losing David and was in the hospital. When we went up to see them last everyone ended up getting sick. I'm just so glad that this time was better.
Clearly I have a lot of stuff to be doing but I'm going to try to be better about blogging. It's such a good feeling to get my thoughts out even if nobody else is reading it. (In some cases, maybe nobody should!) I'm also planning to start digital scrapbooking again. I made a great book at the end of last year and would like to do a better one for this year. The best way to do it, of course, is to keep up with it instead of doing it all at once. So for the two people reading, stay tuned because I will probably share what I do on here.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Strange and Sad
I took Aiden bowling with our MOMS group today. Was fun but the strangest thing happened.
The woman that was working there came over and was setting up an extra ramp for us. I was standing next to another woman's baby in their carrier. This woman... complete stranger.. just looks at me and says "I just lost my baby in January..." and went on to tell me about it and then just walks away. All I could say was "I'm so sorry. That is really hard."
So on the way home, I was thinking. That woman is so brave. I don't think I've said those words out loud except to family when I had to. I had my husband call all but one of the dr.s. I called one and it was horrible. Everyone else has found out/discussed it in emails or online message boards.
It's just strange, I guess. I never really told people in our new town that I was pregnant to begin with. So the idea of telling them that we lost David... out loud... is terrifying. I've had three people ask me if I was planning to have another since we lost him. I always make a joke about how some things don't go as planned. I've had opportunity. They are nice people. I'm just scared of not being able to control my emotions. Scared of sharing too much with people I don't know too well.
I know I'm rambling here. It was just such a random thing. It's been on my mind all day.
The woman that was working there came over and was setting up an extra ramp for us. I was standing next to another woman's baby in their carrier. This woman... complete stranger.. just looks at me and says "I just lost my baby in January..." and went on to tell me about it and then just walks away. All I could say was "I'm so sorry. That is really hard."
So on the way home, I was thinking. That woman is so brave. I don't think I've said those words out loud except to family when I had to. I had my husband call all but one of the dr.s. I called one and it was horrible. Everyone else has found out/discussed it in emails or online message boards.
It's just strange, I guess. I never really told people in our new town that I was pregnant to begin with. So the idea of telling them that we lost David... out loud... is terrifying. I've had three people ask me if I was planning to have another since we lost him. I always make a joke about how some things don't go as planned. I've had opportunity. They are nice people. I'm just scared of not being able to control my emotions. Scared of sharing too much with people I don't know too well.
I know I'm rambling here. It was just such a random thing. It's been on my mind all day.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Heavy Heart
I wish I was one of those people that had such a strong faith that when bad things happen, it didn't rock my world so much that I just have trouble believing. I know there are people like that.
My sister-in-law is really sick. I hate cancer. I'm sending all the prayers, thoughts, and positive energy to her, my brother in law and her son. They are amazing kind people who all make each other so happy. She just needs to be okay. :(
My sister-in-law is really sick. I hate cancer. I'm sending all the prayers, thoughts, and positive energy to her, my brother in law and her son. They are amazing kind people who all make each other so happy. She just needs to be okay. :(
Monday, February 2, 2009
My Bucket List
I stole this from Eden. (Thanks!) Feel free to participate. Copy and post this on your blog. What is this? Well, you’re supposed to bold the things you’ve done so readers can find out how you've led an awesome life so far.(wink,wink!)Here's what I have done in bold...
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (if you count digital scrapbooking)
15. Adopted a child
16.Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (If you count playing the Wii and getting one!)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (I learned a new language, but not on my own)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (Nope but have been to the top of the one at Kings Dominion :))
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class (someday)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar - blech!
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (laid off, not fired)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (maybe someday)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox -
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - Nope...just seen it.
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (if you count digital scrapbooking)
15. Adopted a child
16.Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (If you count playing the Wii and getting one!)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (I learned a new language, but not on my own)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (Nope but have been to the top of the one at Kings Dominion :))
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class (someday)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar - blech!
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (laid off, not fired)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (maybe someday)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox -
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - Nope...just seen it.
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Monday, January 26, 2009
25 Things About Me
This has been floating around facebook. I finally broke down and did it so thought I would share here too.
1. I've been pregnant 5 times. The last time I lost the baby at 18 weeks.
2. We named that little boy David Noah.
3. I had no idea what being a stepmother really meant until after I was married. I think I am still learning.
4. I love to travel. Especially places that involve a beach or any other type of water.
5. I have a lot of friends on facebook from high school that I was too shy to really get to know when I was that age. I'm glad to have the chance to try to now.
6. I miss my dad every day.
7. I miss my dad the most when I see my son do something new. I just know that they would have adored each other.
8. My son makes me/reminds me to be a better person every day.
9. I hate my hair.
10. My favorite song is "Better Days" by The Kinks.
11. I love to cook but am really bad at it. Occasionally I get lucky though.
12. Seeing Aiden experience something for the first time makes my heart melt.
13. As much as the idea of Aiden and Ashleigh growing up makes me sad, it excites me also. I can't wait to see the wonderful people they become.
14. I absolutely love being a stay at home mom but don't think I'm very good at it.
15. I am 100% sure that when I taught, I learned as much, if not more, then my students did from me. They were all amazing.
16. When I was in high school I wanted to be a journalist for a newspaper.
17. When I was in college, I wanted to be a marriage or family counselor. Looking back, I'm sure I made the right choice by becoming what I did.
18. My favorite color is blue.
19. Lower 70s and breezey is the perfect day for me. (I do love winter in FL)
20. I am incredibly introverted. I spend so much time thinking about what I should say that I usually don't say anything. I think some people think that I'm just not friendly, but really I am shy.
21. I love having time to myself but miss having the close friends that I did in VA.
22. I've never been into sports but am really trying since I know my son will be. (He already is.)23. I love to be crafty but am horrible at it. I can destroy the simplest of art projects.
24. There are some friends that left my life years ago that I still think of sometimes and miss.
25. I hate shopping for clothes for me but love doing so for my son and stepdaughter.
1. I've been pregnant 5 times. The last time I lost the baby at 18 weeks.
2. We named that little boy David Noah.
3. I had no idea what being a stepmother really meant until after I was married. I think I am still learning.
4. I love to travel. Especially places that involve a beach or any other type of water.
5. I have a lot of friends on facebook from high school that I was too shy to really get to know when I was that age. I'm glad to have the chance to try to now.
6. I miss my dad every day.
7. I miss my dad the most when I see my son do something new. I just know that they would have adored each other.
8. My son makes me/reminds me to be a better person every day.
9. I hate my hair.
10. My favorite song is "Better Days" by The Kinks.
11. I love to cook but am really bad at it. Occasionally I get lucky though.
12. Seeing Aiden experience something for the first time makes my heart melt.
13. As much as the idea of Aiden and Ashleigh growing up makes me sad, it excites me also. I can't wait to see the wonderful people they become.
14. I absolutely love being a stay at home mom but don't think I'm very good at it.
15. I am 100% sure that when I taught, I learned as much, if not more, then my students did from me. They were all amazing.
16. When I was in high school I wanted to be a journalist for a newspaper.
17. When I was in college, I wanted to be a marriage or family counselor. Looking back, I'm sure I made the right choice by becoming what I did.
18. My favorite color is blue.
19. Lower 70s and breezey is the perfect day for me. (I do love winter in FL)
20. I am incredibly introverted. I spend so much time thinking about what I should say that I usually don't say anything. I think some people think that I'm just not friendly, but really I am shy.
21. I love having time to myself but miss having the close friends that I did in VA.
22. I've never been into sports but am really trying since I know my son will be. (He already is.)23. I love to be crafty but am horrible at it. I can destroy the simplest of art projects.
24. There are some friends that left my life years ago that I still think of sometimes and miss.
25. I hate shopping for clothes for me but love doing so for my son and stepdaughter.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
My New Year
So I'm a little late but thought I'd make a list of what I want to do this year.
1. Have a dust free (as much as possible) home.
2. Eat and have my son eat vegetables and fruit every day.
3. Play with Aiden every day.
4. When Ash is here, sit and give her my undivided attention at least once a day.
5. Follow up with the Dr's. I need to in order to help Aiden as much as possible.
6. When I am upset, say what I'm thinking.
7. Speak without thinking so much when it doesn't really matter.
8. Make new friends.
9. Invite new friends over to do fun things.
10.Have a house that I can invite new friends over too!
11. Be patient with family. They try.
12. Organize something to remember David with on what should have been his due date.
13. Teach Aiden how to be more independent.
14. Get my teaching license up to date. Just in case.
15. Exercise.
16. Say goodbye to old demons.
17. Step out of my "box" and do something that scares me at least once a month.
18. Visit family that could use the visit.
19. Enjoy now with Aiden and quit worrying so much about his future. At least not to the point that it causes you to ruin today.
20. Go for walks.
That's all I have for now but I'll probably think of something else.
1. Have a dust free (as much as possible) home.
2. Eat and have my son eat vegetables and fruit every day.
3. Play with Aiden every day.
4. When Ash is here, sit and give her my undivided attention at least once a day.
5. Follow up with the Dr's. I need to in order to help Aiden as much as possible.
6. When I am upset, say what I'm thinking.
7. Speak without thinking so much when it doesn't really matter.
8. Make new friends.
9. Invite new friends over to do fun things.
10.Have a house that I can invite new friends over too!
11. Be patient with family. They try.
12. Organize something to remember David with on what should have been his due date.
13. Teach Aiden how to be more independent.
14. Get my teaching license up to date. Just in case.
15. Exercise.
16. Say goodbye to old demons.
17. Step out of my "box" and do something that scares me at least once a month.
18. Visit family that could use the visit.
19. Enjoy now with Aiden and quit worrying so much about his future. At least not to the point that it causes you to ruin today.
20. Go for walks.
That's all I have for now but I'll probably think of something else.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Comes the Dawn
Comes the Dawn
Veronica Shorffstall, 1971
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you can really endure,
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn ... and you learn
With every goodbye you learn.
I memorized this poem in high school and it's been stuck in my head the last few days. I think the part about focusing on today because tomorrow is uncertain is what is sticking with me. My complaint about last year is that it seemed like every plan I made was ruined. Usually by something big and bad. And whatever it was kept me down for a long time. So that is one of my goals for this year. To go with the flow and not focus so much on what is to come but where I am today. It sounds simple right? But I am a chronic compulsive planner. Which is funny when you're as disorganized as I am. I'm tired of missing out on things because I'm scared of what might happen to mess them up, though.
Veronica Shorffstall, 1971
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you can really endure,
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn ... and you learn
With every goodbye you learn.
I memorized this poem in high school and it's been stuck in my head the last few days. I think the part about focusing on today because tomorrow is uncertain is what is sticking with me. My complaint about last year is that it seemed like every plan I made was ruined. Usually by something big and bad. And whatever it was kept me down for a long time. So that is one of my goals for this year. To go with the flow and not focus so much on what is to come but where I am today. It sounds simple right? But I am a chronic compulsive planner. Which is funny when you're as disorganized as I am. I'm tired of missing out on things because I'm scared of what might happen to mess them up, though.
Monday, January 5, 2009
One of those nights
Last night I slept but I had the worst dreams. You know the ones where all those things that you are most irrationally scared of come true. The odd thing was that I came out of it on the other end and things were okay. But I still have this uneasy feeling. Like something bad is about to happen.
I'm starting off this year trying so hard to believe that things have to be better then they were last year. So I really wish I could shake this.
I'm starting off this year trying so hard to believe that things have to be better then they were last year. So I really wish I could shake this.
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