Almost moving time

Next week at this time I will be running around frantically preparing the house for the movers to come. We luckily were able to get a good deal on them packing too. So that leaves me with the very un fun job of organizing, throwing away, and donating everything that I can. I do not want to move into our next home with more junk then we know what to do with it. I'm done with the messy stage in my life. The amount of time that I take trying to find things, putting off things cuz I know the frustration it's going to bring because of the mess, and just basically having a house that I'm embarassed about is exhausting. It's over.

That isn't what I really wanted to type about, although I have a feeling it will be the topic of many more blogs to come. Recently, I have been finding myself very irritable when it comes to pregnant people. Usually I can handle it. But today if I see one more person on facebook complaining about how they hate being pregnant, I am going to scream. I just can't seem to avoid the topic. My neighbor is pregnant and my son was nice enough to put out there used to be a baby in mommy's tummy too. That conversation is old. It hurts and always comes out of nowhere and I am tired of having to go back over the facts with my son even though I know he needs that from me.

When I was going through some stuff in my son's playroom I realized that I was pregnant when I moved into this house. When I organized and put things away in the closets it was with the intent that another baby would be living here with us. Aiden's old bedding is in his closet waiting to be used. Baby toys are boxed in his room because we were going to need them. The bassinet that I love so much is upstairs just waiting for a little one to sleep in it. I have boxes and boxes of baby clothes and other items in the garage.

And then there is the box. David's box with the few memories I have of him. They are with my crystal and dishes in a place where they were safe from others looking at them or them getting misplaced. I need to move them somewhere where the packers won't pack them. I've looked at them once since we lost him and am just not sure emotionally I can pull them out again but I know I have to.

I'm seriously considering giving everything away. It hurts so much putting things aside for a baby that I don't know if we're ever going to have. This will be the second move where I'm dragging it all around and I'm just not sure I should anymore.