I took Aiden bowling with our MOMS group today. Was fun but the strangest thing happened.
The woman that was working there came over and was setting up an extra ramp for us. I was standing next to another woman's baby in their carrier. This woman... complete stranger.. just looks at me and says "I just lost my baby in January..." and went on to tell me about it and then just walks away. All I could say was "I'm so sorry. That is really hard."
So on the way home, I was thinking. That woman is so brave. I don't think I've said those words out loud except to family when I had to. I had my husband call all but one of the dr.s. I called one and it was horrible. Everyone else has found out/discussed it in emails or online message boards.
It's just strange, I guess. I never really told people in our new town that I was pregnant to begin with. So the idea of telling them that we lost David... out loud... is terrifying. I've had three people ask me if I was planning to have another since we lost him. I always make a joke about how some things don't go as planned. I've had opportunity. They are nice people. I'm just scared of not being able to control my emotions. Scared of sharing too much with people I don't know too well.
I know I'm rambling here. It was just such a random thing. It's been on my mind all day.
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Honey...I can't imagine. I know it was hard enough when I had an early miscarriage telling people. My heart breaks for you especially this coming month. I know the fear, but maybe someday if you can talk about him it might be more healing. I don't know.
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