Another week gone by

I don't like to announce it online for obvious reasons but the hubby has been out of town for the last week. While I miss him, it gives me a lot more time to focus on myself and what I need to do. This week I found out the power of not only making a list but sticking to it and getting it all done. I am admittedly lazy by nature. So if I can keep this up at least it will help. I'm so completely overwhelmed by all that needs to be done that I sometimes feel frozen.

The next few weeks are going to involve a lot of goodbyes. This weekend is Aiden's last T-ball game. His first experience on a sports team has been absolutely wonderful. I was a little worried in the beginning since he is ultra competitive sometimes but he has done great. The attitude of the coaches has been wonderful and as usual, if another adult says what mommy says then it must be true.

School is ending soon. I'm so proud of how well he has done this year. Although it started off rough he has grown so much. The little boy that used to cry every time he didn't get his way or was frustrated has learned some self control. He has learned to read. Most importantly, he has learned that it is fun to learn and try new things. I hope this wonderful attitude that he has developed in preschool will last him the rest of his life.

Even amongst all the chaos it is funny how things happen that are signs that show you that you are in the right place. This morning it was my dad's song on the radio. It always comes on when I'm feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. Like a message from him to take a step back and look around. Or the other night when Aiden's game was cancelled due to storms. On the way home we saw the most beautiful rainbow. We would have totally missed it had we not driven down the ball park. Even better then that was hearing Aiden's excitement when he spotted it. When they are little and discovering things you get to hear that emotion so often but as he slowly gets older it is harder to come by. I wish I could bottle up that joy.

Well... enough babbling.

A good day/Mommy Brag

Today is going to be a good day. Aiden woke up in a good mood and I slept through the night. What a great feeling it is when you feel like you had enough sleep. It doesn't happen to me very often. Later we are going to tour a donut place with our Moms group and Aiden will get to decorate and of course eat a donut. In his words, "Today is my favorite day in May!".

I told Aiden's school last week that we were moving. I adore his school and hated doing that. I did have a quick conversation with his teacher who said she thought he'd be absolutely fine in kindergarten which was nice to hear. She also told me how smart he was. I swear ya can't hear compliments about your children enough. Even though it has nothing to do with anything i've done it just makes me so proud of him. He is indeed smart. From looking over what different grades require he is at least half way through kindergarten math. Although truly I think he's already done it all. He's reading a ton but still needs to work on looking at all the letters in the word and not guessing just by the first one. (Mommy bragging is okay when you're doing it in your own blog, right?) I am so greatful to his school for the wonderful start that he has gotten there. I hope we can find the perfect place for him next year.

Besides the school thing, last week has been stressful. I despise not having a plan and not even knowing when or where I'm going to be moving to is really taking it's toll. I have so much to do but get so overwhelmed I end up not doing anything. As of today that is going to change. I HAVE to get my house clean. That is my goal tomorrow while Aiden is at school. After that I can start packing up stuff that we won't use. If anyone knows a good way to pack a huge lego castle without it falling apart, Ash and I would appreciate the suggestion. When I asked her if it would be fun to put it back together again.... well let's just say I'd like to try to keep it together.

Off to continue having a great day!

Another Sunday Night

What a nice uneventful weekend! It started by my husband showing up and surprising Aiden at T-Ball practice on Friday night. After missing his daddy for the last week, it was adorable to see his face when he saw him. It was definitely an "awwwww" moment.

Saturday was game day followed by lunch at the "peanut place" as Aiden calls it. Aiden did great in his game. He was able to hit the ball and he even caught it and threw it a couple of times. This was much improved from the week before where he just stood there staring at everything going on.

Sunday we had a big family trip to Sam's club. I know... that doesn't sound too exciting. But it was proceeded by cleaning out the fridge and freezer and now I feel organized about meals for the family. One day I will get this staying at home mom/domestic goddess thing right. Okay, well it might be a while.

My day

Today I went to the place that all parents fear. The place that when the news is reporting of a possible pandemic most would avoid. Not me though. I am BRAVE. Where was it that I went? Chuck E. Cheese okay? Complete with a hug from the mouse and everything. It truly is one of Aiden's favorite places to go. He had a blast. I thought about breaking the news about the move to him while there. After all, it was there that my husband took the phone call letting him know he had lost his job. Seemed like a cool circle of events. But really, I don't think he is going to take the news well and I'm being a big chicken about telling him. It has to happen this week because I will be letting his school know that he will not be attending. I'd hate for the news to be given to him from someone else. So tomorrow or Thursday will be the day.

If I am completely honest with myself I will have to admit that the idea of starting over somewhere is very appealing. When we moved down here it was exciting since I had never lived anywhere but my home town. Then a few weeks after the move my son was having surgery and I had one of two miscarriages. This was followed by Aiden breaking his arm and then losing David. Not to mention that Aiden also was diagnosed with asthma and is officially allergic to everything in the air here. I'm thinking us and Florida are a bad combo and hopefully somewhere with less sunshine will be better?

Here is what I have been up to today. I really like the Hanukkah one but can't get the Christmas one right. I think I'm trying to put too many pictures on one page but am getting sick of working on it. I will come back to it before I put the final book together though.

Wow

It sure has been a long time since I've posted anything on here. I'd say a lot has happened. First of all, I finally had my appointment with the high risk OB/GYN in March. He basically said the same thing as everyone else. It is just one of those things and he doesn't know why we are having such bad luck. On the drive home, my husband called to let me know he was being laid off of his job. So obviously the baby thing is on hold. Is it strange to feel relief about such a thing? At least for right now I KNOW that not trying to have a baby is the right thing to do. So I don't even need to worry or think about it. I still want another child more then anything but I also know in my heart you have to take care of the family you do have before adding to it. So that is where I am at with no doubt it my mind. My only fear is that if we have to wait too long it will never happen.

My husband has accepted a job in another state. So off we go. Nothing like leaving paradise and perfect weather, beaches, and fun things to do to somewhere with snow and rain and all the things that cause seasonal affective disorder! But.. as we all know in this economy a job is a job and he's happy about this one. So if it means moving when others are having such a hard time even finding enough to survive on then how can I be anything but greatful?

My stepdaughter was just here for two weeks and my in-laws were here the second week. They left yesterday and now it is too quiet. Aiden is at school and my husband is gone. We had such a wonderful visit with them all. The good part about hubbie knowing he had a job is that I think he could enjoy them all being here with a little less stress. And he didn't have to work cuz he hadn't started yet. Who knows when he will have free time like that again.

I'm so relieved that my in-laws had a nice visit. It seems like everytime they come something bad happens and they are dealing with us in emergency mode. Last time they came down I found out about losing David and was in the hospital. When we went up to see them last everyone ended up getting sick. I'm just so glad that this time was better.

Clearly I have a lot of stuff to be doing but I'm going to try to be better about blogging. It's such a good feeling to get my thoughts out even if nobody else is reading it. (In some cases, maybe nobody should!) I'm also planning to start digital scrapbooking again. I made a great book at the end of last year and would like to do a better one for this year. The best way to do it, of course, is to keep up with it instead of doing it all at once. So for the two people reading, stay tuned because I will probably share what I do on here.

Strange and Sad

I took Aiden bowling with our MOMS group today. Was fun but the strangest thing happened.

The woman that was working there came over and was setting up an extra ramp for us. I was standing next to another woman's baby in their carrier. This woman... complete stranger.. just looks at me and says "I just lost my baby in January..." and went on to tell me about it and then just walks away. All I could say was "I'm so sorry. That is really hard."

So on the way home, I was thinking. That woman is so brave. I don't think I've said those words out loud except to family when I had to. I had my husband call all but one of the dr.s. I called one and it was horrible. Everyone else has found out/discussed it in emails or online message boards.

It's just strange, I guess. I never really told people in our new town that I was pregnant to begin with. So the idea of telling them that we lost David... out loud... is terrifying. I've had three people ask me if I was planning to have another since we lost him. I always make a joke about how some things don't go as planned. I've had opportunity. They are nice people. I'm just scared of not being able to control my emotions. Scared of sharing too much with people I don't know too well.

I know I'm rambling here. It was just such a random thing. It's been on my mind all day.

Heavy Heart

I wish I was one of those people that had such a strong faith that when bad things happen, it didn't rock my world so much that I just have trouble believing. I know there are people like that.

My sister-in-law is really sick. I hate cancer. I'm sending all the prayers, thoughts, and positive energy to her, my brother in law and her son. They are amazing kind people who all make each other so happy. She just needs to be okay. :(